Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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