you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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