she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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