Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
