nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
