she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
