Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
