Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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