I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
