That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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