I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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