apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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