clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
