the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
