hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
