the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
