her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
