We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
