no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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