3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
