I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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