when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My bed smells like the plague
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