the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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