it wasn't lemon gatorade
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
