I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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