I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
