why didn't you poke me back
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
