so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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