I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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