a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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