In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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