Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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