my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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