i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
