So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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