I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
