the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
