my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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