ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
