all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
