I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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