Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
