Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They have beer where we have blood.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize