I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
