I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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