I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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