Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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