Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Panties = found
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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