my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
