Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
