Little spoons don't ask big questions
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
