he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
