im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
