I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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