Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
