Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
