i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
