Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
