I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
