She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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