I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize