3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
BRING THE BAGELS
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