I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
