is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
