She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
