even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
