Nicole vs. Life
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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