They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize